personalizedchecks.us

Subject: LETTER FROM THE BOSS

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 19:04:16 +0000

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this business that employs 140 people, I have accepted the
fact that Barack Obama is our new President, and that our taxes and
government fees will now increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for this additional overhead, I figure that the clients
will have to see an increase in our fees of about 8% but since we cannot
raise those prices right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we
will have to lay off several of our employees instead. This unfortunate
economic reality has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe
we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go.

After giving it considerable thought, this is what I did: I strolled
through our parking lot and found 11 employees' cars with Obama bumper stickers on them, and have decided
these folks will be the first to be
laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.
They wanted change; I gave it to them.

If you have a better idea, let me know..

Sincerely,

The Boss

How many zeros in a billion?

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:50:15 +0000

This is too true to be funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the
word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the 'politicians' spending
YOUR tax money.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend,
but one advertising agency did a good job of
putting that figure into some perspective in
one of it's releases.

Answer

A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.

A billion hours ago our ancestors were
living in the Stone Age.

A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.

A billion dollars ago was only

8 hours and 20 minutes,

at the rate our government

is spending it.

While this thought is still fresh in our brain…

let's take a look at New Orleans …

It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division.

Louisiana Senator,

Mary Landrieu (D)

is presently asking Congress for

250 BILLION DOLLARS

to rebuild New Orleans Interesting number…

what does it mean?

Well… if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans

(every man, woman, and child)

you each get $516,528.

Or… if you have one of the 188,251 homes in
New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.

Or… if you are a family of four…

your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D. C

< HELLO! >

Are all your calculators broken??

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax < BR>Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fe e Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Su rcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago…
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt…

We had the largest middle class in the world…

and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened?

Can you spell 'politicians!'

And I still have to

press "1"

for English.

I hope this goes around the

USA

What the heck happened?????

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Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:35:19 +0000

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Public Assistance Checks

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 22:57:40 +0000

THIS GUY MAKES A GOOD POINT This was written by a construction worker in Fort MacMurray- he sure makes a lot of sense to me! I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to earn that pay cheque, I work on a rig site for a FortMac construction project.

I am required to pass a random urine test, with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare cheque because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand — I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do on the other hand have a problem with helping someone sit on their ass drinking beer and smoking dope.

Could you imagine how much money the provinces would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance cheque? Please pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you will pass it along though, because something has to change in this country, and soon !!!

London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 03:46:05 +0000

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement..

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'

Time To Economize

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:17:09 +0000

The United States is not manufacturing much but is a a second tier economy service economy. It’s Banks, brokerages, healthcare, media advertising and insurance companies that dominate the scene. The dollar is in a tailspin and the U.S. is a net borrower in this debtor economy.

50% of the oil is imported and the U.S. is at the mercy of oil-rich nations.

From the looks of the economy, it will be a long time before the situations turns around. Few are able save of retirement and a recent study revealed that only 19% of today’s workers will be able to maintain their standard of living upon retirement.

It is a time for conserving and becoming economical. It’s a time to stretch resources as goods become more expensive in order to keep an edge.

In order to help you save a few dollars with your personalized checks we suggest visiting http://www.personalizedchecks.us for the type of saving that come when you deal direct with a check manufacturer superstore. They are able to bypass the middleman and give you bank checks at wholesale prices.

Personalized Checks

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 00:24:06 +0000

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Address Labels

Fri, 02 May 2008 00:16:58 +0000

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Property Tax Issues

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:25:17 +0000

The government will bail out foreign debt loans, banks and big businesses who can’t make payments with special low interest loans (ie. Bear Sterns JP Morgan bailout colluding with government, South American government bailouts …) but when it comes to a distressed homeowner, they are routinely thrown to the wolves.
Property tax appeals should be on everyone’s mind considering the present drop in home prices. I found a great manual for property tax appeals at Minimize Property Taxes

Solution To Save

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 00:28:47 +0000

Checking around the web, I came across this innovative approach that George Carlin thought up that not only would put money back into the collective checkbook, but solve a few other problems as well. Here goes:
The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border.
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military.
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot.
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.
Problem solved.